LAST LAUGH - EPISODES 4 & 5

EPISODE 4: TRISHA’S CALL

Almost every guy on campus has to crush on something, a lady. I wasn’t an exemption as my one and only crush back then was Trisha. I still miss her up to this moment. My meeting with Trisha was what I’ll call ‘fate’. Let me narrate the story; I boarded a bus one Tuesday morning enroute school not knowing I had dropped my wallet in the struggle to get in. I had noticed her the moment I got in but I never cared a thing. “what a pretty bus mate I’ve got here” I could remember saying to myself. I arrived the school main gate shortly and it was there and then it dawned on me that I was wallet-less and above all money-less. I cannot describe how I felt that day; if there was anything I hated the most, it was being embarrassed by not just anybody but a bus conductor. Trust me, those guys have got a Ph. D in embarrassment techniques. I was still massaging my pockets when I heard “for two”. Trisha had noticed my misfortune and had decided to bail me. I thanked her for saving me the embarrassment of losing my shoes or my bag (bus conductors always look out for those from unfortunate fellows). It was an embarrassing day but I had to get over it. We walked into the school together, but parted ways when she got to her department (she was a 200 level student of the Department of Radiography). We never exchanged contacts that day (Not that I never thought of it); I was just too embarrassed to ask for her phone number. Even while we talked along the way, I still felt uneasy. I can remember asking questions like “What’s your name dear?”, “Are you a student of this university?”, “Hope the school is treating you well?”, “You are very light skinned, I like your skin colour, do you bleach?”(Oh God!, really?!, did you just ask that?). Trisha was quite a mature girl and understood my predicament.

About three (3) weeks had passed and I had forgotten about the bus incidence and the person of Trisha. The first semester examinations were drawing near; in fact, we could perceive it. Everybody became very serious and intimidating. Night classes were more populated than day classes this period. The most amusing thing about the night classes then was the behavior of some of the students. Some will dress as though we were in the winter season (“in Nigeria?!”); others will bring a bag full of junk foods (bread, biscuits, meat pie, juice, coca cola, caffeine-containing drinks, etc); other will go as far as packaging their home prepared foods in disposable plates to come eat in school; more than half of this students spent their nights setting and snoozing alarms; disturbing the reading of few others who actually knew why they came. It was on one of these nights I met a familiar person again. I had gone outside to stretch a little when I heard two people arguing. The lady, a familiar face and the guy; a not-too-familiar one. The argument had resulted in the lady receiving a souvenir (a slap) from the guy and that was when I intervened. “Hey guy, you don’t have to do that!” I cautioned. “Mind your business dude, this doesn’t concern you!” he shouted back. The lady was already crying and it pissed me greatly. I had wanted to move away but the “lady beater” had gone back to his aggressive interrogation of the lady. “I thought these people came here to read” I said to myself. I moved closer to where they were and tried to reason with the guy on a “man to man” basis but that was my undoing. He left the lady, walked up to me and before I could say anything else, “Boom”!! Was what landed on my left cheek (was I going to turn the right cheek?, nah..). The sound of the slap brought out many students from their various reading positions within the area. I can’t really recall what got into me that night but I can remember forgetting my left hand on his right cheek too; sending more shock waves within and outside the area. It didn’t take long before a large crowd gathered around. A lot of questions were running in people’s mouths; “what happened?” was what everybody seemed to be asking. “Had I done the right thing by retaliating?” I asked myself. “What’s happening here!!?”, a familiar voice thundered. It was then I realized the guy I just offered a “souvenir” is a member of Uche’s gang. Finally I recognized the face; the guy whose head was “mutilated” with a bottle on our matriculation day. Was I in trouble; what is awaiting me?; I’ll find out soon.

EPISODE 5: TROUBLED WATERS

The event of the previous night had really gone viral the following morning. Most of my colleagues had started avoiding me. The reason for this I could not really tell. “Deju, do you know that guy you hit last night?” Goshen asked. “I don’t know bro, and truth be told I don’t care”, I replied. “You should care bro, because that guy you hit is a high ranking member of the Blue blades!”. Goshen further enlightened. “Is that a military or para-military organization?” I asked again. “It is a confraternity bro!; a cult group!” Goshen exclaimed. I became a little bit scared after hearing this; but what will I do?; I just had to do my own thing and try my best to be careful. I could see Uche gaze at me every now and then but did not come close to say anything to me. I kept wondering what kind of package this guys had in store for me. “Hello Deju!”, a familiar voice called out. “Just want to thank you for yesterday”, it was Trisha. “Hey, you are welcome; though I seem to have gotten into bigger trouble”, I replied. I had told Trisha about what fears my retaliation had brought to me. She didn’t seem surprise; she obviously knew her boyfriend was a cultist. “I told him I wanted a breakup and that was what resulted in the argument last night. He wasn’t like this when I initially met him; all of a sudden he smokes, drinks a lot and does a lot of complicated stuff I can’t explain”. She concluded. “No guy is ever like that when you initially meet him” I thought within. I only advised her to be careful and watch her movement. I had my own life to watch out for and my exams to prepare for.

I was lying down on my bed in the evening of that day when my phone rang; it was a number I did not have in my contacts. “Hello?” I spoke. “If you love yourself and your life; you had better not sleep in your house tonight”, a strange voice spoke. Before I could ask any questions, the caller hung up. I was left very confused. The only place I could think of going was Goshen’s place; but adding me, the total number of occupants in one small room will be eight (8). “Dude are you still thinking of comfort in this condition?” I asked myself. I hurriedly took my reading materials, a pair of trousers and a shirt, and hurried to Goshen’s place without even calling him. “What really have I gotten myself into”, I asked myself. My phone rang again; this time it was a known caller. “Guy where are you?”, Goshen asked. “I’m on my way to your place”, I replied. “Okay, please hurry!, there is trouble!”, Goshen concluded and hung up. “What trouble again other than the one I’m already in?”, I asked silently. The first call had really put fear in me up to the extent my knees were trembling as I moved. I’m not used to this kind of life God knows.

EPISODES 6 & 7 COMING THROUGH SOON....